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May 17th, 2006

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02:09 am - Sister
So my sister moved back home. Yeah, my older sister, the one who walked the earth holding herself above all of us because, "She is better then us". Yeah, that sister. Well, at first I REALLY didnt care, but now it basically has come to be a big problem for me. Granted, I really am not one who can really say/ do anything about it because this isnt my house, and well, my rules dont apply. But, I can be annoyed. To start off, she basically is on a course to make my life a complete and total hell, and well, when I am at home, it works. And now, because I went out on a limb, she has a job where I work. Another free hand out for her, ya know? Emily went through and gave stacey SO much, and all stacey did was treat her like crap, and blow it. So, I am tempted to take my sisters new job from her. Messed up, isnt it? That I have that power to do something like that. Either that, or I am going to just quit, and get myself a new job somewhere else. My old job from last summer is willing to pay $12 bucks an hour for me. I mean, I cant argue with that, but I really like it at Biaggi's. Most of them have become my friends, my co-workers, my family. Charlie, Justin, Maegan, Brittney, Jessica and I, have become really good friends. Kristen is like an older sister to me, the T.I.L.F is probably one of the most impressive people there, everyone else there is something. But, I cant do this. I cant have my sister ruining my life not only at home, but also there. I am happy there, I can stand up and smile everyday when I am there. I could go in in the WORST mood ever, and the people, the customers, everyone, make me smile, make me happy. I dont even know what I did to her, thats the messed up thing. She walked into MY work, my world, and said "Im Potters sister, will you hire me?" and they did. Once they talked to me about how I would feel about her working there. And I told myself I would deal with it, because, everything happens the way it does for a reason. But I dont see a reason behind this. Maybe its to make me move out, make me want to disapear. But I cant do that to them. They have done so much for me. So I am going to talk to Wein, and my mother, and see what I can do. Because, I dont want this. I dont want her ruining my life more then she is. She wont say a SINGLE thing to me when she is home, unless she is finding a way to bitch me out, and she basically feels as though she has free roaming over this house. That everything is hers to use, and that everything is hers. For example. She just walked into Kyle's room, used his computer, and then left. He came home and was like, Stacey, why did you use my computer, and she said she didnt. Yet, her AOL was still signed on. And she kept saying she didnt. I mean, I guess Kyle and her are getting along fine, and Dennis and her seem to be doing fine, so maybe its just me. Maybe I am the reason all these problems exsist between her and I. Its probably all my fault. Go somewhere, get a job, and a place to live. I just cant put up with Stacey anymore. This house was actually really enjoyable before she came here. But once she did, the atmosphere changed, and everything turned from light, to darkness. Like a cheesey horror movie. I dont even know, but I cant be happy now. Unless I am not here. With her around, I feel as if I am a terrible person, as if my life is only ruining others around me. Maybe it is, maybe she is right. Maybe I should just die. Cept a death where no one can find me, cause then there isnt the price of a funeral to pay. Like, I was SO happy, and now look at me, death? Are you kidding me? So I guess my best bet is going to be either a. talk to Wein about my sisters job, or b. me quitting, and then leaving. Cause I dont want to be around this anymore. Its killing me that she is here. If she wasnt so negative to me, then I wouldnt care, but this is almost one of the worst things I have delt with in so long. I cant even find an escape to this. I went out with my little brother and played tennis, and had fun, but when I came back, I came back to her and her negative energy. If she wasnt going to work with me, then I would just tune her out at home, but now she is infecting my life. Like, Maegan and I were joking on myspace, and apparently, thats not aloud, but maegan joke about telling scott she had a dieses, and now, I am a terrible terrible person for making a joke. So, apparently, joking with your friends is against all rules in the world and everyone should be ban from it, cause you never know when you sister is spending her days reading your myspace comments. Like, this is fucked up, I cant even be happy. She is in a totally diffrent room, asleep, and I still feel like the bad person. I guess its the stories she tells to everyone about me, I start to believe. Maybe its like the ones where she told the world I tried to stab her, or maybe its the ones where she told the world I was pyscho. Or maybes its every other stories she tells, small ones too. Like how I was the one eating Kyle's cookie dough, or how I am this or that or this or that. I just cant stand her and her damn stories. If I could cry, I probably would be crying right now. It's killing me every single day, and I dont know when its going to just break me. It wouldnt be bad at all if she could talk to me and tell me the truth. And then when she tells me these stories from inside her head, I wish she would listen when I told her the real truth. Dennis, my little brother even said it. Its like she wants to turn my family against me. She has failed and doesnt want to except it, so every single flaw I have, she points out and lets the world know of them, execept, they are blown up into a huge deal, when the truth is, 90% of the time, they are nothing. I feel pain from something I never thought could hurt me, for family is ment to support you, not knock you down. So, like I said, I either have to a. move out, or b. well, get my sister to change her state of mind, which wont happen.

So there you have it folks. Yeah, Im not happy right now, cause I cant be. I am probably more annoyed then I have ever been, and well, never have I felt so so so so so unwanted.

So on that note...anyone know of a nice, cheap place to live? with work?
Current Mood: annoyedannoyed
Current Music: Goo Goo Dolls- Let Love In

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